Do you have friends that you fundamentally disagree with on important topics? Most of us instinctively try to find common ground with the people we love, live among or work with. But what about people who live with ideas that are 180 degrees from yours – those with whom you have very little in common? Is there value in understanding them too? I say, “Heck yes!” How else can you find a respectful and effective way to change things that need changing? Let’s talk more about what’s more valuable – connection or consensus.
Discover solid common ground.
Have you noticed how much misunderstanding drowns out every effort to find common ground? Between the upcoming election, the pandemic and the diverse views on racial inequality, there’s no doubt that our present season is filled with both confusion and clarity. We’re experiencing both great opportunity and terrible loss. There’s an atmosphere of both unity and division. How can we reconcile our personal views with a respect and appreciation for those around us who simply do not see the situation in a way we can relate to or agree with?
The key is in discovering real understanding. Solid common ground and authentic understanding is necessary if you’re going to reach that valuable place of agreement — even if that agreement is to disagree. You see, it’s not so much about the details of WHAT someone believes as it is about WHY they’ve come to believe those things.
YOUR INNER DESIGN IS THE STARTING POINT FOR ALL OF YOUR REASONS WHY.
- It’s the source of why you think, feel and act the ways you do.
- It’s the key to discovering your greatest potential.
- Inner design reveals the perspective from which you view your circumstances.
You can discover your inner design right now:
Will you choose connection or consensus?
So, what’s a more valuable target when trying to bridge a divide between your beliefs and others? I say, CONNECTION. If your target is connection, you’ll aim at finding common ground by means of real understanding. In this case, you don’t have to agree with them, but at least you can understand why they believe what they do. However, consensus is a much harder target to hit. Consensus requires agreement. And there’s just so much about which to disagree.
What’s the fastest way to connect?
Connection (aka common ground) is gained through a real understanding of the drives, motivations and preferences of others. When you discover a person’s reasons WHY, it removes the need for you to agree with them. For example, consider the following:
SAY YOU’RE AN “NF”
In this case, you naturally place a priority on authentic relationships and meaningful connections with others. You’re designed to find common ground with your strength of diplomacy. What’s more, it’s difficult for you to understand why others would not care so much about reaching this shared understanding. If someone is trying to connect with you, you’ll lean in and make an effort. Connection is very likely if the other person points out the significance of your views.
IF YOU’RE NOT AN NF,
You, on the other hand, have other priorities that may or may not lead you to discovering someone’s motives or revealing your own reasons why you believe the way you do. UNLESS that person has made an effort to understand you and has given your thoughts and beliefs room to be expressed and valued, connection may be difficult to obtain. NT’s want the other person to value their intelligence and logic. SJ’s want the other person to respect them for their contributions and reliability. SP’s want the other person to be impressed with their natural skill for finding solutions and making an impact.
Connection or consensus? Consensus may have very limited and short-term effects on the world. But connection reaches across any divide. And the fastest way to forge connection is through an understanding of inner design.
Make the first move and discover your inner design today.
You can get a “jumpstart” at understanding your inner design with a little help from our team at InnerKinetics. If you’d like some assistance, you can request a consultation and an InnerKinetics consultant will call you to answer questions and schedule your meeting.Schedule an Initial Consultation. If you are more independent and want to cut to the chase, you need not wait for a call back because you can get answers to your questions and schedule your session HERE.
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