What’s the real cause of your emotional stress?

Know the cause of emotional stress

How often do you identify difficult people as the source of your stress? If you’re a parent (to kids ages birth through 50 or even older), part of an organization, a person with a job, or just a person who talks to other people, you’ve likely done that as recently as an hour ago. What about the stress that comes from feeling you haven’t found your purpose? Or the strain of struggling to break harmful cycles of behavior you just can’t seem to break? I’m sure you’d agree that there’s regular stress, and then there’s an even more troublesome version of stress that seems to be different in nature – stress that drains you far more quickly than others. That’s emotional stress.

If you want to do something about the causes of emotional stress in your life, consider this.


Self-Made Weaknesses and Emotional Stress

Even though we all drain quickly from emotionally charged circumstances or emotionally out-of-control interactions, that’s not the real source of the stress. The real source of emotional stress is our self-made weaknesses. These are created when we go in an unfulfilling, unsatisfying, and foreign direction (a.k.a. AWAY FROM OUR INNATE STRENGTHS). Failing to live in our strengths creates negative emotional pressures that will drain us completely dry.


  • She’s a stay-at-home mom whose strengths include a gift for creative writing.
  • Six years ago, she made the transition from a company office to a home office where she struggles to strike the balance between her previous life as a full-time professional and her more valued job as a mom to twin toddlers and a 6-yr-old.
  • Every day, all day, she works hard to meet the physical and emotional demands of her children, take care of a chronically-ill parent, serve clients on a part-time basis, pour into her relationship with her husband, and maintain a small number of close friendships that have survived her demanding lifestyle.
  • She loves to write and never makes the time to do so.
  • She struggles to not feel irritable, unfulfilled, and unmotivated while performing even the simplest of duties.


  • She started making the time to write creatively again.
  • Because this style of writing required her to use several of her inner strengths, she felt her emotional health returning within days.
  • She was no less busy and no less drained physically. However, her emotional stress was greatly reduced.
  • The changes were dramatic and observable to everyone close to her, including to herself.


Solve Emotional Stress by Knowing Your InnerKinetics®

Intentionally and strategically using your greatest assets (your inner strengths) creates the emotional strength and health you’re looking for. Your emotions make a judgment about what’s good for you and when you live in your strengths, you’re following their best judgments. You’re also generating the healthy payback of feelings that enrich your life.

SIMPLY PUT: Your emotional system functions as your guide when you follow the strengths of your inner design. It malfunctions when you don’t.


When we do not use our strengths, we create weaknesses that are simply emotionally unintelligent. Everything about living in our weaknesses is emotional trouble. In fact, most people who are not used their strengths are angry or irritable, moody or sad, just because they aren’t using their strengths as they were designed to be used.


Learn More about Mastering Intelligent Emotions

Know your inner design (your InnerKinetics®) and you are well on your way to knowing what you need to do to master intelligent emotions and successfully manage your emotional stress.

In the next few weeks, we’ll begin a short study on the book entitled, “Intelligently Emotional.” I hope you’ll consider joining us. Here’s what to do to get ready:

  1. Make sure you know your InnerKinetics. This simple assessment will provide the answers you’ll need as we study how to become intelligently emotional.
  2. Grab your copy of the bookIntelligently Emotional by Ray W. Lincoln.
  3. Be sure you are subscribed to our weekly updates and watch for a separate email we’ll send that includes a downloadable study guide and reading plan.

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