by Janet Kellogg
The first and perhaps most important move toward becoming a “Genius Parent” is your enrollment in the “School of Inner Design.”
Have you ever had that dream where you suddenly realize you haven’t gone to class all semester, you have no idea what’s been taught, and it’s now time to take the final exam?! Even if this particular dream has never awakened you in a panic, I’m sure you’ve experienced being caught completely off guard and unprepared to effectively handle a sudden development in your child’s life.
. . . “She’s never done this before!” you say to the teacher upon learning that your sweet child has been strong-arming other kids into behaving according to her exact instructions on the playground.
. . . “He’s usually so respectful of authority. I can’t believe he did that! He must be over tired,” you explain to the coach upon learning that your son threw the ball at the coach’s head during practice last night.
. . .”No, I didn’t know that she’s been seen several times outside the movie theater smoking with her friends!” as you fight hard not to point out to your friend what you witnessed her kid doing last week.
Despite your best efforts to train your child in good decision-making, you cannot avoid the inevitable and sudden shock of discovering your child is behaving completely “out of character.”
Do you know what to do to help them get back on THEIR track?
How do you know it will actually help them, just because it worked for you as a kid?
A genius parent can teach what they know.
The fact is, you can’t effectively teach what you don’t know for yourself. . . and your child must be able to count on your learned expertise of living in alignment with your inner design. Their success and fulfillment in life depends on a clear understanding of the inner drives (aka inner strengths) that propel them in the direction of their purpose. Your inner design is a field of specialized study and a lifelong pursuit. You can choose to follow this custom curriculum or ignore its lessons. But every time you skip class, don’t be surprised at what happens next as you literally begin to see the measure of your success drop!
If you want a parenting style that results in others seeing what you see in your child, LEARN everything you can about your own inner design and what it takes to align yourself with it. Once you learn how to live and function with the correct use of your inner strengths, you can successfully teach this invaluable practice to your child.
A genius parent stays in school!
I don’t know exactly when the whole “Be cool, stay in school” thing started, and for all I know, I’m revealing my age by bringing it up . . .but it’s a mantra that definitely applies to genius parenting! You must recognize that without an understanding of your own design and how it directly affects your parenting style, you will constantly stand in the way of seeing your child’s motivations, intentions and opportunities clearly. Extreme negative behavior always feels like a crisis of sorts and without practicing the process of getting your child “back in class” (figuratively speaking) . . .you may find yourself sitting in the “principal’s office” often (literally!).
What does your student I.D. say? Are you an SP, SJ, NT or NF Parent?
Summary of the SP Parenting Style*
The SP parenting style has much to commend it. Perhaps the greatest contributions it makes to the development of a healthy adult are the building of self-confidence and the application of much joy, which is an essential nutrient for the happy, healthy human spirit.
The avoidance of worry is a definite plus, and the development of optimism should be envied and emulated by all. Courage is also high on the list of benefits that are encouraged by the SP parenting style.
Parenting in the “SP style” can be overwhelming for some kids with non-SP InnerKinetics and can create more fear and cautiousness instead of less.
Summary of the SJ Parenting Style*
What would society be like without an emphasis on responsible, reliable, trustworthy, caring behavior? The SJ parent who models the lessons taught in the story of the Good Samaritan is priceless. Their rock-like, stable character is worth awards in a shifting society. The SJ parent, steadies the ship of life with tradition, concern, and a lifestyle that likes closure. They tie up the loose ends of uncompleted tasks and build solid routines to perpetuate today’s lessons into tomorrow.
For this serious parent, the challenge is to “lighten up a little.” Enjoy! Joy is nutrition the SJ needs more than any other design. Their children need joy. The trilogy for a healthy spirit is love, joy, and peace. SJs give love to their children abundantly in actions of care and provision, the peace they seek, and the joy they struggle to supply. We will never change their cry that “work comes before play,” but we urge them to play a little for their own and their children’s sake, or they will undo all the good they so selflessly provide.
Avoid all Pygmalion efforts to make your children like you. SJs are made wonderfully. They strongly desire that their children follow in their footsteps, but they must let their children do it with the drives of their own InnerKinetics (or inner design) that won’t seem (in the eyes of the SJ parents) like the child is following in their parent’s footsteps.
Summary of the NT Parenting Style*
The best thing we learn from the NT is their disciplinary method. If the NT taught us nothing more, this is a gem of a contribution.
The emphasis on parenting our children to independence is, perhaps, the second most impressive contribution. We have failed in our parenting task if we release children into this adult world without having allowed them to struggle enough to develop their own self-reliance through self-control. Sometimes, with an obstinate, troubled child, he (or she) will leave home before this is completed.
NTs could learn to use their latent emotions more and respect emotion more, thus giving their children a greater feeling of love and warmth. The NT parent’s method works well for the NT child, but not so well for the NF, who they don’t understand. Both the SP and SJ may fare well with the NT style. The key, even for the NT, is to understand the differences of the temperaments and to parent with knowledge, all the while watching for needed adjustments.
Summary of the NF Parenting Style*
NFs are complicated and we need to make their methods and goals more understandable. So here is an over-enthusiastic attempt at simplification.
- Parenting is relationships, and the NF teaches us not to forget that. “Protect your relationship with your child,” they say, “since you will need it. Bond with them.”
- Parenting is not controlling, nor is it letting children do as they please; nor is it all rules and regulations; nor is it all learning by consequences or cool disciplinary measures. Parenting, to the NF, is developing children to be their best.
- Parenting is constantly developing this relationship and growing the partnership of parent with child. The tools for such a project are respect, love, insight, and understanding – all of which fuel a bond of trust.
- Emotions, if you have them in large quantity, can both bless and curse your efforts. Try to control them or pay the price of sabotage.
- Self-esteem, if not in place, will produce aberrant behavior. Building self-esteem is a needed parenting goal to develop your child.
- Spiritual values anchor the life and ward off much inner despair.
This is what the NF parenting style teaches us.
*Excerpts from “I’m a Keeper,” by Dr. Ray W. Lincoln [links to: https://innerkinetics.com/product/im-keeper-kid/]
Regardless of your parenting style, it’s all revealed as you learn how to live and parent by design. Every parent CAN be a genius parent! Make your move and learn more! Become a “Genius Parent”!
Enroll in the School of Your Child’s Inner Design today!
Understanding your child’s inner design results in parenting that:
- Creates a stronger relationship with your children based on true appreciation for the differences between you
- Builds up a healthy, depression-resistant self-image in your child
- Models to your child the ability to make good choices and avoid the sometimes painful costs of making the absolute wrong ones.
If you want to learn more about parenting with under-standing and according to your child’s design, check out this new online learning course.