by Janet Kellogg
Genius Parenting Move #3 is going to make you wish your mind-reading super powers were more than just a strategically planted suggestion to your child to keep them out of trouble! Super powers or not, you must discover the quality of your child’s thoughts about themselves because these thoughts directly affect your child’s success in life. Furthermore, you must teach them how to keep their self-image healthy and what to do when it’s not healthy.
Genius Parenting Move #3: Know These Facts About Self-image
- Your child cannot rise above their self-image (a.k.a. self-esteem) because the quality of their thinking and choices are a result of the quality of their self-image.
- Your child’s self-image changes all of the time because what we think about ourselves changes all of the time.
- The health of their self-image is your child’s responsibility — not yours.
Are any of these facts about self-image a surprise to you? No. 3 was definitely a hard one for me, personally, to accept. How can my child be held responsible for something I might not have taught them to do well?
. . . Sobering!
Once I accepted these facts, it provided me the freedom to get on with parenting my kids according to each of their own inner designs and to focus on what I can do to lift their self-images higher.
. . . So can you.
If you are made differently on the inside than your child, what builds up their self-image is very different from what builds yours.
- If your child’s inner design is “SP,” their self-image is raised when they can show you their bravery and when they are able to make a positive impact on others. Their thoughts must align with what their optimism, courage and bravery brings to their life. Conversely, their self-image is lowered when they are stifled by too much routine, inaction and lack of optimism.
- The “SJ” self-image is raised with each opportunity to be responsible, dependable and helpful. An SJ needs to focus on thoughts and the belief that they know how to do the right things to keep their world steady and stable. An SJ’s self-image is lowered when they feel they are unable to be useful and unable to create the steadiness upon which solid progress is built.
- For the “NT,” self-image is raised every time they are successful at meeting their goals and can use their creative genius to solve problems. An NT’s self-image takes a big hit when goals elude them or become mired in volatile emotions they don’t understand, rendering them ineffective.
- Due to their strengths of being sensitive and emotional, NF kids can often mis-use these strengths, and as a result, suffer a low self-image easier than the other three temperament designs. Encourage and teach them to use kindness and caring in every relationship. Success at creating healthy relationships and the ability to positively influence others is at the core of their healthy self-image. Failure at this endeavor drops their self-image like a hot potato.
Genius Parenting Move #3 Also Teaches Them to Be Victorious over a Victim Mindset
We cannot choose our child’s self-image for them.
- Only they can make choices to believe they are good.
- Only your child can choose to release the unique gifts that they alone can offer the world.
- Your child is the only one who can choose for himself or herself to be a victor, rather than a victim.
This is all true. But equally true is this: Even though we can’t make our children’s choices for them, we CAN teach our kids how to keep their self-image healthy. We must! The price for a low self-image is simply too great.
When you teach your child how to operate according to their inner design — intensely focused on using their inner strengths correctly — you are raising a child who can take responsibility for themselves. You will be raising a child who doesn’t blame others for the responses to life they alone must make. You are raising a child who has experienced how it feels when they are making healthy choices that lead to their success.
Raise Your Child’s Self-Image with These Actions:
- Identify the inner designs of each of your kids, as well as your own. Help Me Identify My Child’s Inner Design
- Join the InnerKinetics community for ongoing education and solutions for parenting according to inner design. Learn more about InnerKinetics.
- Use the Resources area on our InnerKinetics website to access specific learning on building your child’s positive self-image.
- Use online learning opportunities, such as our new online course, Understanding Your Child. You can learn in the comfort of your home and on your schedule.
- Arm yourself with a “parenting manual,” the bestselling parenting book, I’m a Keeper .
- “Free” is always good when it contains information you need as a parent. Try the E-Book: The Parent’s Guide to Instilling Positive Beliefs
- And this one is NEW! Get access today to unlimited streaming of our MP3: Developing Your Child’s Self-Image by Temperament
You don’t need to be a mind reader to be your child’s genius, superhero parent. Teach them how to keep their self-images high and watch them take off toward their own success and fulfillment.
Lean In to Genius Parenting
- Creates a stronger relationship with your children based on true appreciation for the differences between you
- Builds up a healthy, depression-resistant self-image in your child
- Models to your child the ability to make good choices and avoid the sometimes painful costs of making the absolute wrong ones.
If you want to learn more about parenting with under-standing and according to your child’s design, check out a new online learning opportunity.