Emotional Control (continued)
Have you ever noticed that happy people tend to control their emotions better than angry people? I wonder why? Happiness produces a state of relaxation and in comparison, anger produces a state of tension. While happiness produces a positive attitude, anger creates a strong focus on what is negative. Healthy emotions feed those positive happy attitudes and anger feeds negative and destructive attitudes.
Therefore, here are some conclusions that can be reasonably drawn.
Healthy Emotions Produce Happy People
It is to everyone’s benefit to seek to produce an atmosphere of positivity and happiness in the home, at work, and at play. The struggle to do so is worthwhile. In the home, parents benefit, and children are more likely to learn to seek the happy feelings their home atmosphere produces. We all like to feel good emotions rather than depressive, negative emotions that turn us sour. When someone we love suddenly appears at the door, our attitudes and feelings change almost instantly. What these articles are all about is creating this climate of rewarding emotions in the home whenever possible. And where it seems impossible, don’t give up on the battle.
Damage of Anger and Revenge
There are times when child and parent, young and old make us believe they love their anger — and particularly their desires to seek revenge. When hurt, we lash out. We even feel a kind of distorted pleasure in hurting others. But we seem never to have learned the lessons from the damage to others and to ourselves that these emotions cause. Too often, bad feelings are desired over good feelings and hate, over love. What should we be learning from our sluggishness to change our behavior? (Or is ours a dogged refusal to learn the needed lessons that life is persisting to teach us?) “Love never fails” is a dictum that gets our respect but seldom our wholehearted commitment to its demanding lifestyle. As a result, we never learn how to control our emotions when we keep welcoming any and all emotions regardless of what they do to us and others.
Healthy Emotions Begin Here
We must create the world we want to live in, but we must do it first in our own hearts. Emotional control cannot be effectively learned when we keep welcoming damaging emotions and at the same time try to arrest their escalation. Emotional control starts inside of us. The battle for control and personal victory begins there, not is some technique or tip. A mind filled with thoughts of the good and love is where to begin. Teach this by modeling that mindset to your children and all others. Let them see it in your controlled reactions to others. Let them hear you teach it constantly and you will give them the essential foundation for winning the fight for emotional control.
Did You Know…
Emotions are facts! All of us have emotions — even those who appear all the time to be “cool, calm, and collected.” But the primary emotions differ according to our temperament. So understanding who we are on the inside is the key to developing healthy emotions and emotional control — what I call “Intelligent Emotions.” Start by completing the Adult Temperament Key for yourself and the Child Temperament Key for your child.
With a little guidance, you can make rapid advancements!
You can get a “jumpstart” at emotional control by discovering the truth of who YOU are — the “Real You” — and who your children truly are, as well as how to best engage your children in finding the whole truth. Our team at InnerKinetics is ready to provide that help. If you’d like some assistance, you can request a consultation and an InnerKinetics consultant will call you to answer questions and schedule your meeting. Schedule an Initial Consultation. If you are more independent and want to cut to the chase, you need not wait for a call back because you can get answers to your questions and schedule your session HERE.