Have you noticed how often you’re asked to consider what’s wrong with you? This disturbing trend has intensified over the last few months! I’ve come across so many blogs, social media posts and public mandates compelling you to look at your negatives or why you’re broken in some way. This flawed and unfortunate approach to problem-solving creates an instant losing strategy. Instead of arriving at any long-term solutions, this negative focus mires you down in trying to fix negatives, rather than developing the positives that lead you out of the trouble. If you want better solutions, ask yourself better questions.
Asking Better Questions About You
Last week, we started an important conversation about identifying what’s RIGHT with you. It’s a critical action if you want to be part of the solution, rather than part of the problem.
Just consider some of the very real questions I’ve come across in recent posts and publicized conversations:
- What makes you dangerous?
- What’s your destructive side?
- Do others perceive you as rude or needy?
- Have you really evaluated your core fears and weaknesses?
Seriously . . . What kind of questions are these? What are they really designed to accomplish? Sure, it feels more productive to deal with the problem you’re trying to fix. Much of our emotional world is oriented around fixing problems that are causing us major trouble. BUT . . . and this is a big “BUT,” the reality of how we’re made to think, feel, and act is that the more you focus on the problem, the more energy, time, and attention it steals from the real solutions.
This unproductive strategy to personal development shows up in many counseling sessions, conflict resolution efforts, and personality type systems. But if you really want to create change in your life, you’ll have to upgrade your thinking and your focus.
So, let’s get into it. Here are some better questions:
- What makes you a safe force for good?
- What’s your creative side?
- Do others perceive you as kind and helpful?
- Have you really evaluated your core beliefs and inner strengths?
There are so many different ways to begin a conversation about what’s right with you. You’ve been designed to function optimally – even though you can malfunction. You’ve been created to become successful in your life – even though you sometimes fail.
Do you know how you’ve been designed to become your very best in every area of your life? Can you create a focus on what’s right about you? Let’s take your problem-solving as an example.
If you took the InnerKinetics assessment and you discovered your inner design, you can use the results to discover many important things about your path to solving important problems.
ARE YOU AN “SP” PROBLEM SOLVER?
Your tactical intelligence and your ability to seize the moment leads to so much of what’s RIGHT about you. Your spontaneity and courage done right lead you to strategic risk-taking the real-time solutions.
IS “SJ” YOUR METHOD FOR TACKLING PROBLEMS?
Your design-driven attention on details and logistics is one of your many assets. When solving problems, you start with first things first. It’s this orderly approach and desire for organization that leads you to proven, concrete solutions.
DO YOU TACKLE YOUR PROBLEMS WITH “NT” DETERMINATION?
Your fierce determination and curiosity lead you to ask questions no one else thinks to ask. NTs solve problems by looking at as many possible avenues to success as they can logically examine. And then they choose the most efficient one with the highest chance for success.
DOES YOUR “NF” DIPLOMACY LEAD TO THE BEST SOLUTIONS?
If you function with the NF design, your problem-solving centers around your diplomatic analysis of all the people and facts involved. Emotions, personal goals, potential, and organizational objectives are just some of the many factors an NF analyzes to arrive at a solution to a complicated problem. What’s right about that?
Regardless of your inner design (your InnerKinetics), problem-solving is just one area where we can see so much of what’s right about you.
Want to Be Part of the Solution or Part of the Problem?
There is so much to learn about what’s right with you and the ways you’ve been designed to live life, heal your emotional scars, and impact people’s lives for the better.
Ask better questions and you’ll get better answers. Find out everything that’s right with you so that WHEN you go wrong, you know exactly how to create a problem-solving focus.
Let’s keep talking.
And in the meantime, consider grabbing a copy of INNERKINETICS where you can learn more about exactly what’s right about you.