Just Right: What Goldilocks Can Teach Us About Life

The Just Right Life

Goldilocks was onto something. We’ve been talking about course corrections in our lives and how they can be accomplished with the right use of some very sophisticated controls called inner strengths. These strengths are not just some catch phrase to describe the skills we acquire or good habits we adopt. In fact, these strengths are essential to success for the REAL YOU. Who is the “REAL YOU”? This is the version of you who’s choosing to experience your full potential and the correct use of strengths innate to your inner design. These strengths propel you in the direction your life is intended to go. What’s more, they create a sense of satisfaction and fulfillment that gives you the emotional fuel you need to find that just right version of life. Read on to learn about the “Just Right Strategy” for your success.

The “Just Right Strategy”

As is the case with each of our inner strengths, we must fully understand them.  Once we understand them and fully appreciate their true value, we can learn to use them correctly with just the right touch. This is the “Just Right Strategy.” This is when we are square in the middle of a track leading to the Real You.

The “Just Right Strategy” is essential to using strengths. You see, if mis-used, strengths become weaknesses. “Mis-use” means we can’t overuse our strengths, neglect to use them, or inappropriately apply them. Take, for example, the inner strengths of being responsible and trustworthy. They happen to be strengths of the SJ design. When used properly, they lead an SJ’s successful use of controlling their circumstances to ensure that they are, in fact, responsible and able to achieve their duty. It means they can be counted on to fulfill their commitments.  When mis-used, these strengths can lead to an over-controlling person.  It’s clear, inner strengths like these need to be used JUST RIGHT.


CONTROL: Another one of those course corrections in life you’ll need to get just right.

Last week we shared a few thoughts on communicating to be understood, rather than just heard. Your communications are just one of many essential skills that may require a course correction. Here’s another:  your use of control. Control is so tricky and needs the finest of adjustments to get it just right.


It’s smart to make sure you are in control of yourself. In fact, self-control is always listed as an essential leadership skill and success factor. The same is said of emotional control so that we allow intelligent, positive emotions to fuel us.

  • But how often do we try to control others?
  • How often do we strive to control things that are not within our control?
  • Or, are you one of many who struggle to take control when you should?

Most of us are guilty of these things — at least some of the time. Consider the problem:

You’re off course and trying to control people or circumstances that are just not within your control. So, you feel exasperated that you can’t just force things to change the way you believe they need to change. And/or, you frustrate others. You create in them the desire to avoid you because you can’t stop telling them exactly what they need to do and how they need to do it. You are now being labeled a “control freak.” Not good.

Or, here’s another potential problem. Once you’ve made a change, you realize you’ve gone too far in the other direction. Now you are assuming the role of victim or acting irresponsibly because you aren’t in control of things you need to control.  Clearly, this can be just as much of a problem.

Your course correction will be just right when you use your inner strengths.

You can rely on your inner design-driven strengths to serve as a guide for how to control those things you’re actually able to control.


If you are an SJ, it’s time to learn more about the inner strengths you possess like being responsible and trustworthy. Operating these strengths correctly means you are also using CONTROL correctly. Consider this guide written just for you.


Then you have a very different set of strengths that help you with a “Just Right Strategy” for using control in your life.

  • You could be an “SP” that controls the real-time situation by offering solutions that work. You have several inner strengths at play, like being tactical and living in the moment.
  • Perhaps you’re an “NF” who intuitively controls the healthy communications between all parties involved – keeping your eye on the big picture goals. You’re using your strengths of diplomacy and sensitivity to do this.
  • Or, you could be an “NT” who uses your strengths of strategy and logic to create an innovative system. This system then controls various outcomes to arrive at the most efficient and very best outcome in a particular situation.

The use of control is very different among each of these inner designs. All are excellent and offer truly essential perspectives to any situation.



It’s time to uncover the inner strengths you can rely on to guide you through just the right use of control. Learn more about the inner design you’re using every moment of every day with this free assessment.


Discover more next week about your inner strengths and the JUST RIGHT STRATEGY for your success.

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