Perhaps you are feeling a bit “battle weary” as a parent. You feel pulled in many directions by the varying needs of each of your family members. Sibling rivalry is at the apex. Your child refuses to cooperate with you without your becoming a drill sergeant. And all you want is some peace and to snuggle your little darlings like when they were dependent little infants and toddlers.
Do you want some relief from the battles of parenting? Even reducing the battles significantly would be good wouldn’t it? When your son says he hates you and treats you with disdain or your daughter is blatantly rebellious, do you want an effective way of understanding and dealing with such situations?
You do? Then ask yourself this question, “Have I ever said to my child, ‘I just don’t understand you?’”
You’ve just identified the real issue that plagues most parents: You would just love to understand your child better and create a more peaceful home.
Well, think about this, too. Are you concerned that you may not be bonding sufficiently with your child? You may be surprised to learn that you cannot bond with your child. Does that surprise you? The truth is: they must bond with you. And they won’t bond with you unless they feel that you understand them. No one is comfortable with someone who does not understand them.
You see, nearly all skirmishes between parent and child are, at their core, a case of misunderstanding or simply not understanding your child at all.
Most parents parent by the BLM method. Do you know what that is? Be-Like-Me! But your children are most likely not like you! They think, feel and act differently because they are made differently — often with a different temperament. Even identical twins can live to the beat of different drummers. It’s no wonder that clashes occur when understanding is not there to guide us.
We must understand what is going on with them on the inside — what urges and drives are shaping their lives, shaping the way they see life and the way they prefer to think, feel, and act. Those urges produce preferences and we all tend to act according to what and how we prefer.
I looked in the mirror this morning and could clearly see how I am made on the outside — given some weathering, of course — but I could not see how I was made on the inside. Those urges and drives that make me who I really am are not visible.
I want to offer you a look at how your child is made on the inside and how to parent with real understanding. It’s the only smart place to start.
I have created a free helpful E-book to tell you how to begin understanding your child and to describe what that understanding will do for both you and your child and the happiness you both long for.
Thanks for dropping by.