Making Choices When It feels You Have None

Understanding How Thinkers Feel

When you’re making choices about important matters, do you ever go on autopilot? Or do you choose with great intention? If you’re like most of us, it’s probably a blend, depending on the nature of the choice. But what happens when you believe you really don’t have a choice? What can you do then? Let’s talk more about what lies behind every difficult decision you make.


A Better Way for Making Choices

In a recent post, we reviewed the Magic Question and its value to you in daily life. Asking “What’s the very best thing for me to do right now?“ re-focuses you on using your inner strengths. Not only that, it provides you an opportunity to upgrade harmful emotions that are influencing your actions. But some of us get stuck even before we get to that Magic Question.  Sometimes we need clarity around what our choices actually are.

One of the most common statements I’ve heard lately is “I just didn’t feel like I had a choice!” Have you heard this?  Maybe you’ve recently said it yourself as you struggled to decide what was best. As we continue to experience such extreme and unusual circumstances in our daily lives, exercising your freedom to choose feels more and more like shark-infested waters!

For example, “Choice A” feels like the right thing to do but may result in the disapproval of important people in your life. Maybe “Choice B” doesn’t feel like the best choice but will result in acquiring things you need or keeping things you don’t want to lose. In some cases, making difficult choices can feel so tricky it may seem you don’t even have a choice. However, this feeling is fed by damaging emotions that are NOT your friends! Worry, anxiety, hesitancy, or fear can quickly morph your view of the circumstances and shove you into indecision. Don’t be tempted to give up your freedom to choose. There’s a better way. And this better way requires two things: your understanding and your courage.


Making Choices with Understanding

Understanding what lies behind every decision you make is very important. It’s not mysterious. But these things have been there as long as you can remember so it’s easy to forget they’re there. What are they? YOUR VALUES. You choose based on your values (a.k.a. your tightly held beliefs).

So, if you’re finding it difficult to decide, it may be that you have become disconnected from the values you hold most dear. Review them. Ask yourself, “What’s most important to me?” and “Why is that important to me?” Only you can keep, change or rearrange your values. And when you apply fresh perspective and “straight thinking” you can re-gain the clarity and conviction you need to make your most difficult choices. But staying ignorant of the values that are driving your choices can get you stuck in a victim’s mentality. Nothing good happens then.


Making Choices with Courage

Once you understand what’s behind the way you are viewing difficult choices, you’re halfway there. But you’ll also need courage. WHY? Because conviction without courage can still leave you stuck, inactive, and tempted to feel that you have no choice.

Difficult choices always require courage. Just ask anyone who has served their country during military operations or been in a leadership role during times of crisis. Courage to act on your convictions fuels your next move and suffocates harmful influences like worry, anxiety, hesitancy, and fear.

Don’t feel like you have enough courage? Get some more! Here are some quick ideas:

  • Restore your faith in the sovereignty of an ingenious, loving Creator who has a purpose for you being alive at such a time as this.
  • Review the stories of others who made everyday, courageous decisions and ultimately changed their world in some meaningful way.
  • Find like-minded friends you can discuss your choices with and gain energy from their insights.
  • Recall the positive outcomes you’ve experienced in the past when you gathered your courage and made difficult choices.


Know This

If it feels like you don’t have a choice, know this: You always have a choice. You may not like the choices in front of you, but you still get to choose. You were made for this time, and the world about you needs the strengths you were designed to use. Gain understanding, gather your courage, and call your shot. The team at InnerKinetics is always here to help.

If you’d like some assistance, you can request a consultation and an InnerKinetics consultant will call you to answer questions and schedule your meeting. Schedule an Initial Consultation. If you are more independent and want to cut to the chase, you need not wait for a call back because you can get answers to your questions and schedule your session HERE.

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