Is yours a masterpiece marriage — one that your children and others should imitate?
Although there are many definitions and originations for what warrants the title “masterpiece,” there’s something all masterful works seem to have in common: they are often imitated. Imitation may be the sincerest form of flattery, but how flattered would you feel watching your children build relationships based on your mistakes, rather than your successes? Are successful relationships and fulfilling marriages something you want your kids repeating? Take these 3 steps toward creating a masterpiece marriage.
Step #1: Be Mindful
YOU ARE BEING WATCHED! Is that a scary thought? It might feel that way some days. It’s sobering (and motivating) to remember that your kids, your friends, your peers, and even your parents often watch the way you communicate with, connect to, and respect (or don’t) each other.
If you need to build your awareness of just who is looking to your example, take notes.
- Listen carefully to how your kids treat each other.
- Remember the compliments you’re given or the questions you’re asked when you spend time with other couples.
- Note how even those much older than you or those who are married far longer than you are looking to raise the bar on their relationship.
We are all looking for patterns of success that we can follow in our marriages. Whether we want to admit to it or not, we all want the fairytale ending.
Step #2: Be Accountable
YOU ARE SETTING A STANDARD! Is your influence positive or negative? Talk about accountability! There’s nothing more effective in holding yourself to a higher standard than taking the time to remember who you influence!
- Once you’ve identified those who are watching and following your example, hold yourself accountable for your actions.
- Make sure your choices line up with the positive and motivating influence you hope to have.
- Most importantly, model for your followers the greatest skill of all – putting it right when you make mistakes.
Step #3: Be a Good Storyteller
YOU ARE TELLING A STORY WITH YOUR MARRIAGE. Like all great masterpieces, will it be a story others want to repeat? Lots of stories are told throughout the ages, but only some of them represent history we want to be repeated.
If you mean for your marriage to be a tale of triumph over adversity, begin with the end in mind.
- Set goals for your relationship that you can reach together.
- Identify specific skills and attributes you want to model to specific people. For example, each of your kids needs to learn different lessons from you. Do you have a chapter in your story written just for them?
Create a Masterpiece Marriage Your Kids Will Want to Imitate
Have you questioned whose model you’ve been following? Does it set a standard high enough to create the masterpiece marriage you want?
Many of us lived with excellent role models for a fulfilling marriage. Others of us decided that the mold must be broken and recreated based on something stronger. Regardless of your situation, ask yourselves if you have the right template on which to build a compelling story together.
The Real You + The Real Them = A Masterpiece Classic
To learn more about the best starting point on which to build and fortify your masterpiece marriage, discover your InnerKinetics (your inner design).
You can learn more in our mini-course on relationships. There is no cost and you can accelerate your relationships with a new understanding of what causes the problems and what solves them.
If it seems that you are constantly in a state of tension, argument or even fighting, you might want to take a look at a quick one-page guide that can help you stop fighting TODAY. All you need to do to get the “Stop Fighting TODAY” guide and receive the mini-course is click that pretty orange button below and you are on your way to a better relationship!