Most parents are the experts on their children’s behavior. They know if little Megan is acting normally or acting up. But what they don’t know is how she feels when she obeys or disobeys. Why did she throw that tantrum and kick her mommy? Why did she, only one hour later, show such tenderness and say, “I’m sorry, Mommy. I’m really sorry. Honest, I am?” We can guess, and most of us do just that. Sometimes we even oscillate on whether they are “keepers” or, perhaps, we should “throw them back in the pool”. When we invest in understanding, we will know.
Don’t give up! Invest in understanding!
Have you given up on understanding your child? Does your child frustrate and puzzle you at times? Have you been wondering whether perhaps Mars was the origin of birth? Are you turning gray, losing hair, or tearing it out? Age is not the only cause. Children can be infuriating at times, and a large part of the irritant is a lack of understanding. I mean a very large part!
The good news is that we can learn about the drives that caused the tantrum and what caused the tender attempt at making up. We can understand how our children are made on the inside with an accuracy that will astound us and comfort them.
Understanding how they are created “on the inside”
Knowing how our children are created on the inside (the part of them we can’t see) – where their decisions are made, their drives live, and their preferences are formed – will give us the chance to parent them to be the best they can be. It will also decrease the stress of parenting. Wouldn’t that be wonderful?
Actually, what we can learn is so detailed and helpful that no parent should be without this knowledge. If you long to be the parent who really understands how your children feel and think, the parent that guides your children to the rich development of their strengths and their potential, then listen up! Wouldn’t it be great to know how to lead your children to be all that they can be?
Invest in understanding because they probably are NOT like you!
If you are just starting your parenting journey, you may be wondering whether your child is going to be like you — think and feel like you — simply because he or she has some of your genes? Well, it’s not going to be that easy, most likely, because those inner drives are not genetic. That’s another reason to learn how they are made on the inside.
Strange as it may seem, they can be the opposite of you, and be made in the mold of a temperament whose actions you find hard to accept. Oh, and you should learn why trying to make them like you is really bad for them and frustrating to the point of despair for you.
Never fear! The advances in scientific tools and the wisdom of two and one-half millennia will guide us to parenting our children with the understanding of what and why they feel the way they do, act the way they do and display opposite drives that are, at times, different from those of their parents.
It’s written in their InnerKinetics (temperament)
It’s all written in something I call “temperament” (which I prefer to call “InnerKinetics”). Understanding your temperament and theirs, and how each affects the other, is what you need to know. When you parent by understanding, rather than by trial and error, you will see results quickly and develop the relationship with your child that will pay you back tenfold.
Watch this blog for more that will help you understand your child a little better — and perhaps help you understand yourself and your partner as well.
Here’s a resource to help you learn to parent with understanding: I May Frustrate You, But I’m a Keeper. And here’s a coupon code for a discount (from this link only): THX4ASKING.
Another tool you will need (and it’s FREE!) is the InnerKinetics Child Temperament Key. Completing this assessment is the first step in understanding your child.
Be sure you understand who YOU are as well. Understanding your own InnerKinetics will reveal how you differ and why you clash sometimes.
Invest in your parenting and reap the rewards of understanding. The dividends are generous.
Then share with me the changes you experience.