Commitment is what transforms a promise into reality. ~ Abraham Lincoln
What is the level of your marriage commitment? Investing in your marriage requires a commitment from all areas of life, especially those that directly touch on relationships. Some of these areas require some new insights — maybe even some coaching from a knowledgeable professional. Some will require that you either study on your own or with the aid of a knowledgeable friend or mentor. However, all require a commitment of your energies and resources, so your level of commitment will determine your success. Here are some areas to examine regarding your commitment.
10 Areas to Examine in Your Marriage Commitment
- Finances. What financial resources have we dedicated to the improvement of our relationship?
- Time. Are we setting aside enough time to nurture a marriage relationship?
- People. Are we using the skills and knowledge of others instead of adopting a go-it-on-our-own policy?
- Communication. Are our goals for each other’s happiness and development accurate and genuinely expressing our partner’s needs and wants? Do you even know what your partner wants?
- Learning. What are we doing to get to know each other better and understand how we are made? This is basic to a healthy relationship and a successful future. Without it, you can work really hard at the wrong goals and frustrate each other and your relationship.
- Respect. Are we nurturing the respect we have or had for each other? Have some things about your partner become “irritations”? Opposites often attract. Those opposing traits can often become the undoing of a relationship. But they can also become the cement that binds you together.
- Language. How do we talk to each other when times are stressed?
- Feedback. Are we giving each other sufficient feedback to keep possible hurts from escalating and joys from fading?
- Intimacy. Are we both happy with the quality and amount of intimacy we enjoy, and what (if anything) stands in its way?
- Business and scheduling pressures. What more can we do to offset the negative effect of being too busy and/or scheduling limitations? How can we creatively make our limitations work for both of us?
How do you score in your marriage commitment?
On a scale of 1-10, where do you fall in each area? Give each category a number to indicate how you are doing. Then total your score. How did you do?
Where do you want to score? Does this indicate you are really committed to this relationship?
If not, do you want to increase your scores? If you do, then put action to your words. Commit time, money and whatever else might be needed to improving those scores. Then, carry out the steps required and you are on your way to a better marriage.
Below are some resources that can put you well on your way to understanding each other. Once you have that understanding, communication and mutual goals are more easily achieved.