Adapted from INNERKINETICS – Your Blueprint to Excellence and Happiness.
Why is success and achievement so appealing? Because it feeds our feelings of worth. Success builds our self-image to varying degrees and in subtly different ways. This is true for each of the temperaments. That’s part of the payback of achievement. However, we need to be aware that self-image seeks different expressions and goals according to our temperament.
If we have a different package of strengths from those of another person, we will feel our personal worth in a different way. One temperament may feel self-worth when people show their appreciation for their reliable and faithful service. In another temperament, when people recognize their ingenious discoveries. A high self-esteem, regardless of what creates it, is essential to high achievement in all areas of life.
How does the payback of achievement play out in relationships?
Let’s look at parenting as an example.
When an SJ parent wants best behavior from an SP child, they must seek to build that child’s self-esteem. What gives an SJ a feeling of achievement and success? When people regard them as responsible, dependable and productive. What gives an SP a feeling of achievement? Making an impact on those in his circle by receiving recognition for athletic achievement, musical talent, fashion extremes, entertaining skills. So, the SJ parent cannot successfully elicit that best behavior by expecting the SP to perform as the SJ parent would. The parent must tap into the SP’s strengths and employ them to produce the desired behavior.
What about the workplace?
Managers can apply the same principles to their staff. And choosing employees with the temperaments that will excel in a specific position will make managing staff a more pleasurable task.
Marriage – where the payback of achievement really matters!
When it comes to the marriage relationship, the stakes are really high and beg for the partners to correctly apply their strengths. It brings to mind one wonderful couple whose temperament profiles would make one think they must have a difficult relationship. However, the opposite was true. She, an ESTJ, used her strengths to manage a very busy schedule, which allowed her to work from home. That allowed her to be a part of their children’s activities at a high level of participation — something that was important to both parents. He, an ISFP, used his excellent skills with tools to renovate and restore homes that they were able to purchase far below market value. And his joyful, fun-loving nature enhanced the already pleasant atmosphere of their home. Their relationship and their NF children benefited from their excellent application of their individual strengths, which brought them healthy self-esteem and modeled a wonderful relationship for those children.
In search of the payback of achievement, we are called to do great things
We are all built in an image that calls us to higher things, to feel as though we can do anything. The human system craves to distinguish itself and to do this by exercising its inner powers.
This drive to be something or someone is latent in all of us. A spiritual belief can add significantly to this urge for many. If, as some believe, they are made in the image of a Divine Creator and are to spend their lives living in that image, this belief impels them to be the best they can be and struggle to be better and better. Whatever your spiritual belief, or none at all, a higher call will aid you on your search for your best and beyond — your possible dream. It’s simply more motivation, and who has enough motivation to be their best?
The direction your life is intended to go is not a downhill slide but an uphill climb. It is reaching or stretching for the stars with the excitement of achievement and success. Stubborn resolve is far less powerful than even the little successes along the way, which empower us.
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