If the word “success” makes you queasy…

Queasy feeling, butterflies in stomach
Adapted from INNERKINETICS, Your Blueprint to  Excellence and Happiness

Does the word success make you feel queasy?  Has it been contaminated with the idea that it’s all about money (financial success) or social status (social success), fame or even dishonest practices?  Do you feel it has become trite?  If thinking about “success” makes you queasy, try something new.  Start by redefining it.

What is your idea of success?

How about rescuing the word and filling it with your own meaning?  What is your idea of success?  Is it reaching your personal potential in a chosen field?  Or is it creating loving, harmonious relationships?  Perhaps it is making a difference in the world for yourself and others?  Perhaps, achieving a dream?  Is it simply being the best you can be?  Whatever it is, you must know what success is for you before you set out on the road to find it.   

Start with a definition

The very word succeed (or success) may kick-start your efforts at defining it personally for you.  It’s a great word and comes to us from the Latin and French words that mean “to go after, to go up, or to follow.”  Go after your passions; go up to the summit of your potential; and follow your beliefs, values, and heart, and you will define your success more effectively and optimistically.  

The wrong definition is probably why success makes you queasy

Maybe you’ve been trying to succeed by following your friend’s advice — not that doing so is all bad.  However, embedded in your friend’s advice are your friend’s goals and your friend’s paths, not yours.  Make sure to define the word success for yourself.  You must deliberately carve the shape of your destiny and not let circumstances or others do it for you.   

At one time, my success was being dictated by others.  I was answering every call for help and my own goals and needs were shunted to the back burner.  I had to learn to take control of my schedule and, as a result, to take control of my life.  You take control of your destiny by first defining success for yourself and then making room in your busy life for it to happen.  

Your definition of success must fit

Success goals must feel as though they fit.  Therefore, get rid of all the goals that you know in your heart are not yours: goals you have chosen because you are copying someone else or following so-called “tried and true methods.”  Perhaps you have read how someone has succeeded and you want to succeed like them, so you adopt their goal.  That’s a common cause of failure.  Goals that fit will arise from within you, not from some other person’s experience.  

If successes you’ve read about have not happened for you, it’s no wonder success makes you queasy

Maybe you’ve read many books on success but still nothing has happened for you — nothing really significant, that is — or worse, you have become frustrated and wondered what it is that others seem to have that you don’t have.  They succeed and you don’t.  The fact stares at you. 

Perhaps you’ve agonized over why you can’t seem to succeed like others?  You seem to be different.  The reason could well be that you are chasing after a hazy goal of success.  If your definition of success is not clearly defined, you will not reach it.  You would not know you had reached it even if you had.  Clarity sharpens not only the goal, but also our motivation.  

Too many of those frustrating experiences increase our feelings of worthlessness.  That’s a real shame, since it damages our self-worth and lessens our chances to achieve our goals.  The attempts become increasingly counterproductive if our goals are not clear and they don’t arise from within.  Could following someone else’s path be wrong?  I think so, and I can show you why.  Each of us has an individual road to an individual goal.  That’s what INNERKINETICS  is about.

Here’s where to start:

  • To reach a destination, you must know where you are starting your journey.  In the case of success, you must know who you are deep within.  What drives you and causes you to have different preferences than your parents, siblings and friends?  Know yourself first.  You can begin that process by taking this free assessment.  
  • Next, discover the strengths that the letters of your temperament profile indicate are the core of your being.  I’ve outlined them and discussed them in INNERKINETICS, Your Blueprint to Excellence and Happiness.
  • Once you have discovered your core strengths, learn how to develop each of them, beginning with the one that you feel is your strongest.  Again, I’ve discussed that in INNERKINETICS, Your Blueprint to Excellence and Happiness.  Developing your strengths will help you define the goal that is “success” to you and see your path to “your”success.
  • And voila!  No more queasiness over success!  You’ll experience the joy of real fulfillment.

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