Forgiveness means “forth-give-ness” or giving something away. It is meant to bless everyone — you and others. View it as a gift. Wrap it up in the soft colors of love and mail it with a smile, either outwardly or inwardly. The gift is greatest to the forgiver.

How should you deliver your message of forgiveness?

Surprisingly, the other person does not need to be told that you are forgiving them.  Sometimes, it is a good thing for them to know; sometimes not. In fact, more often than you realize, they aren’t even aware that they need to be forgiven.  As long as you deliver an attitude of forgiveness, it can be anonymous.

Communication of it is not the most important part of forgiveness.  The most important part is the result.  We’ll talk more about that below.

When forgiving seems wrong

Until we understand its purpose, forgiveness seems as though we are letting the rotten, immoral criminals who hurt us off the hook or we are glossing over their responsibility to be accountable.  One temperament, in particular, would definitely see it this way.  Their cry for justice would not be unwarranted.  It feels right to be angry at injustice.

We can get stuck in the mire of unforgiveness, however.  There is a way to get unstuck and we can do it without sacrificing our strong feelings and values when we understand forgiveness correctly and use our innate strengths to empower our forgiveness.  We can find solutions that are driven and motivated by the intelligent use of our innate temperament’s strengths.

Who benefits most?  The forgiver!

Chained to the pains of the past is no way to live.  Remember, when you forgive, it is a gift to yourself first and foremost.  It is not meant to change the offender’s life, but to change yours.

The most important aspect of forgiveness

Using your strengths to produce forgiveness brings peace from two sources:  the appropriate use of our strengths and the freedom from the resentment that has caused such unhappiness.  Enjoy the peace forgiveness brings. Soak in its release from a burden of concern. Bathe your own spirit in its love. Forgiveness is meant to remodel our lives — especially the life of the forgiver.

Learn how to employ your temperament strengths to forgive

Getting “unstuck” is hard sometimes.  However, it is possible and it is the best gift you can give yourself (or someone you want to help).  Here’s a handy little book that can guide you to that goal: Break Free!