Stress Relief Strategy #3: Resist Conforming

Stress Relief Strategy #3 - Resist

Does it seem like a contradiction to say you can relieve stress through your focused resistance?  That sounds like a lot of effort that might lead to even more stress, doesn’t it? But I submit that it all depends on what you’re resisting. In this case, it’s the temptation to conform. Resist conforming to habits, thinking, and responses that don’t fit the Real You. And watch your stress begin to melt away.


 Why resist conforming?

Last week, we gave you another strategy for relieving stress. Learning how to live by your inner design reduces stress and prevents malfunction in critical parts of your life. This week’s strategy builds on this principle and represents a common obstacle we all must avoid.

When you follow the intelligent and preferred ways of your inner design, you’re aligning yourself to respond positively in a variety of circumstances. You’re embracing healthy beliefs. You’re acting to achieve outcomes you’re specifically equipped to achieve.

Your positive results are a template worth using again. But just as importantly, you must resist conforming to the preferences, drives and strengths of others who possess completely different inner designs. Conforming to the wrong “fit” will ultimately create tons of stress and turn your positive responses and outcomes negative. It does so because you’re trying to follow inner forces that aren’t even there (within you).


  • Take the area of decision-making. If you employ a process that is contrary to the ways you’ve been designed to evaluate your choices, you’ll be uncomfortable and lack confidence that you’ve made the right decision. Even if the decision-making habits are modeled after a highly effective leader, you’ll experience the STRESS of following a way that’s foreign to you.
  • What about daily habits and overall lifestyle? Again, making changes that require you to operate contrary to the way you were designed will backfire. Even well-known gurus like Tony Robbins and Oprah Winfrey get stressed out if they follow advice from each other that doesn’t align with their own inner designs!
  • Conforming to even the stress-relief practices offered by trusted experts can build more stress if they don’t fit your design!

In a nutshell, conforming to the wrong fit is the wrong response to the circumstance. And the wrong response causes stress!


Conforming to a mold that fits.

The other day, one of my favorite teachers reminded me of the false sense of security and self-worth that conformity can produce. There may be safety in numbers, but conforming to popular ways of thinking and behaving only works to provide security and self-worth under the right conditions.

For example, maybe you’re stressed out and frustrated because you just can’t accomplish things you feel strongly you need to accomplish:

  • If you’re designed with a strong need to belong and you’ve found a tribe of healthy, like-minded individuals. Joining your efforts with theirs could result in very important accomplishments that serve the greater good. And your being a part of that effort can result in a healthy boost to both your sense of security and fulfillment. SECURITY & SELF-WORTH FOUND. STRESS REDUCED!
  • On the other hand, what if you’re designed to focus on things others say aren’t possible. And contrary to the group think that works for those described above, you’re designed with a relentless self-reliance and independence. In this case, would constraining your thoughts to the structure of a group even work for you? Not likely. In fact, it could kill your creative problem-solving stone dead. SECURITY & SELF-WORTH NOT FOUND. STRESS INCREASED.


Resistance is not futile.

Despite the famous lines from the Evil Empire, resistance is not necessarily futile. In fact, it can be life-giving!  If you want to resist conforming to ways of thinking, feeling, and acting that just don’t fit,


Stress doesn’t stand a chance!

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