It is with the heart that one sees rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.
~ Antoine De Saint-Exupery, The Little Prince
Have your emotions puzzled you, driven you almost to insanity, or at times transported you to the heights of ecstasy? Have you asked, “Why do they both help me and hurt me?” Perhaps you have been ashamed of them at times and proud of them at other times? Do you want to be in charge of your emotions — a good manager and controller of these powerful surges that live and pulse inside of you?
There’s more. Do you want your child to grow up to be intelligently emotional, handling their feelings wisely? Of course you do. We all want this for both our children and ourselves. So, how can we harness the power and energy of our emotions and have them lead us to be our best? Emotions are the key to reaching our potential.
Let’s maximize the power of your emotions
In these articles I will introduce you to knowledge of your emotions. (Don’t be scared!). I will help you begin to understand why you (or your child) act the way you do and I will help you begin to learn how to manage and maximize the power of your emotions in your life. Wouldn’t it be great to know how to make the emotions you love stronger and more intelligent, and learn how to control and manage the pesky ones? As you discover more, you’ll also be better able to teach your child and yourself to take charge of your emotions.
Temperament helps you take charge of your emotions
How you are designed to think and feel will be part of our journey together and a guiding factor in our understanding of ourselves. For 2,500 years, we have seen temperament (how we are made on the inside) studies in literature. And because it is such a user-friendly and accurate tool for self-understanding, we will press it into service and let the understanding of it do its magic.
You may want to go to the “InnerKinetics Temperament Key” now and determine your temperament before you read any further. Knowing your temperament will make this study understandable and, therefore, much more helpful. You’ll need to know what the letters SP, SJ, NT, NF and others signify. It’s a quick exercise, so do it now. If you want a more complete understanding of temperament you will find one in my book INNERKINETICS.
A different approach to emotional intelligence
Mine is a very different approach to emotional intelligence. It’s what I will call being intelligently emotional. It’s not about the operations of the brain or the philosophical formation of a school of thought, although we may discuss these things in brief. Rather, it’s an examination of the struggle the temperaments have with emotion and how they can do something about it. My approach will empower you to take charge of your emotions.
We are about to address how emotions play their powerful role in our temperament and how temperament helps us understand emotion. All of human history has witnessed the connection between the two, along with the dramatic results of management and mismanagement. Temperament profoundly affects emotional control and even how the emotions are expressed. It guides our understanding and is our greatest tool in becoming intelligently emotional. As a parent, you may be longing to discover why your children act and feel the way they do and what to do about it. But you and your emotions must come first.
Appreciate emotions! Don’t despise them!
We must not despise our emotions. Rather, we need to appreciate them, understand them, and direct them. Supersensitive people are also highly emotional. We call them the NF temperament. If you are one, you will probably recognize the struggle you have with your emotions and their seemingly uncontrollable nature. This uderstanding is certainly for you and for those who are training an NF child.
Sensitivity to the emotions of others
Others who insist on not making their decisions without consulting their feelings are also prone to emotional trauma and will benefit from the help temperament understanding offers. Some (the Ts, who are approximately 50 percent of the population) have difficulty being sensitive to the emotions of others. Some of them even prefer to keep their own emotions under lock and key. They can sometimes see little benefit in emotional drives. But as a result, they miss the riches of emotion and need to be introduced to its logic — yes, logic. Emotions have logic. This understanding will help the Ts too. This understanding is just as important in order for you to take charge of your emotions if you fall into the less emotional categories.
Whatever temperament you are and whether you are a T (one who downplays emotion) or an F (one who lives in emotion’s riches), emotions are an issue in your life and an understanding of them will enrich your thinking and your living.
A Life of Intelligent Emotions
This enriched life is called a life of intelligent emotions. Once we thought of intelligence in terms of IQ only and revered those who had a high score. But now we are beginning to understand the importance of having a high EQ (emotional quotient) as well. We also know that no decision we make is truly devoid of emotional content and, therefore, we must see the sense of paying more attention to our emotions. As we learn more about how we are made, we will find even greater help with living a full and complete life. I will be using the expression “living in your strengths” as the fullest expression of our potential as humans.
Teens and intelligent emotions
The teenage years are the emotional and social testing ground where the youth wins maturity in emotional development or postpones it to struggle painfully with it in adulthood. We have more trouble with our emotions than we do with our analytical thinking. This is probably because emotions are such slippery, abstract elements that we often don’t even identify them, let alone grasp them, long enough to direct or manage them. They present a totally different challenge for teenagers than the acquiring of physical skills. And they test teens more severely.
Relationships need intellig
Emotional intelligence or the lack of it fashions our social lives, of course. All relationships could do with an emotional tune-up at times. The help needed to treat your partner with intelligent and loving emotions lies ahead. Let’s begin the journey to take charge of your emotions!
My hope is that this book will lead you, as its content has led many others, to be intelligently emotional. If it helps you to develop the intelligent use of your emotions and a rewarding lifestyle, my labor will not have been in vain. You can access it HERE. If you are subscribed to our weekly updates, our next issue will provide a link to purchase it with a 15% discount and free shipping.
DISCOVER THE TRUTH OF WHO YOU ARE!
Lean into the whole truth. Discover the truth of who YOU are — the “Real You” — and who your children truly are. Discover how to best engage your children in finding the whole truth. INNERKINETICS, Your Blueprint to Excellence and Happiness, is a great resource.
Our team at InnerKinetics is ready to provide that help, too. If you’d like some assistance, you can request a consultation. An InnerKinetics consultant will call you to answer questions and schedule your meeting. Schedule an Initial Consultation. If you are more independent and want to cut to the chase, you need not wait for a call back because you can get answers to your questions and schedule your session HERE.
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