Understanding your emotions as a matter of choice

Emotions Require Emotional Intelligence

How do you handle your emotions? Do they run the show? Or do you show them who’s boss? Are they the things you spend the most time trying to control in your day? Or do you barely recognize when they are flaring? Most everyone now understands the term “EQ” as a measure of your emotional intelligence. Many professionals in both personal development and in the mental health space place a higher EQ along the spectrum of life skills you’ll need to succeed in business and family. 

Like me, I’m sure you can agree that without emotional intelligence, one’s efforts to be an influence will go unnoticed or rejected adamantly. But what causes one’s EQ to be high or low? It’s not biology. EQ transcends race, gender, and creed. Is it your religious beliefs?  Nope. Religion can provide some motivation to make certain kinds of choices.  But that doesn’t mean those choices will be good ones. What about your life experiences? Do those determine EQ?  It turns out that not even the course of your life so far can really determine your EQ. In fact, this major factor in your personal success begins with understanding and ends with your response to that understanding. 

You choose. 

We’ve been talking in the last few weeks about your inner design, your healthy self-image, and just how important your choices become when fulfillment, happiness or success are of interest to you. In fact, understanding your choices was on the list of 3 Daily DO-Its for healthy people. 

Why is it that understanding choices is so important?  Here’s why:

  • You choose your thinking.
  • Your emotions are your choice.
  • And of course, you choose your responses to circumstances.

That pretty much sums it up.

We’re not talking about any old choice (like what you’re eating for dinner). We’re talking about the forces that shape your daily life. 

We parked last week on some “Clean water thinking.” That kind of thinking must be your choice and yours alone.  Here’s another choice that only you can make: the emotions you choose to partner with and act upon. Understand that emotions are chosen, and…congratulations! Your EQ just jumped up a billion points!


Accidentally Emotional or Intelligently Emotional? 

Understanding emotions as choices is important. But equally important is understanding how to respond to emotions. Every human is created as an emotional being.  Even those of us who prefer to set emotions to the side when making decisions are STILL subject to the emotions we operate with. So will you be intelligently emotional?  Or will you be accidentally emotional?

Please pick the first one!

Emotions happen so fast that no one can blame themselves for their emotions.  It’s what you do next that matters. Once you become aware of your emotions, it’s time to make a decision. Do you need to choose an upgraded emotion or is the one you’re acting on at the moment going to serve you well?  Learning to recognize the role of emotions, how they influence you, and how to choose positive ones to operate with — this is what constitutes whether you are “intelligently emotional.” 

Since no decision we make is truly devoid of emotional content, we must see the sense in paying attention to our emotions. Emotions can be volatile. They seem to operate mysteriously, without warning at times, and they seem to have a will of their own. We live with them and wrestle with them every day, but we don’t really know them. 


If you’re ready…

If you’re ready to be your very best, it’s time to understand your emotions much better than you do right now.

And if you’re among those who wonder at the usefulness of emotions or struggle with their power, the next few posts will help you.

You can learn to master your emotions. Or you can let them master you.  It’s really your choice. If you’re ready, here’s what to do next:

  1. Discover your inner design.  Knowing and understanding more about your InnerKinetics will play a key role in becoming Intelligently Emotional.
  2. Grab your copy ofIntelligently Emotional by Ray W. Lincoln.
  3. Follow along as we take the next few weeks to learn exactly how you master intelligent emotions and positive choices.

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