Unnecessary Guilt: An Obstacle to Living Your Upgrade

Obstacle #2 to Living Your Upgrade

How much of your time is spent going on guilt trips? Perhaps it’s time to stop traveling that road. After all, it can be littered with detours, potholes, and hazards of all kinds. Although it can be a major motivator, guilt is typically an inferior motivator to other design-driven forces. And more importantly, it’s a major obstacle to living your upgraded life. It’s time to ditch unnecessary guilt.


Obstacle #2 to Living Your Upgrade

There are so very many subtle ways that guilt can affect us. In fact, there are also many opinions on which types of guilt are “necessary” versus “unnecessary.”

There’s Guilt for Being the Real You.

Understanding our inner design will give us an explanation of why we do and feel the way we do. Often, people who have just discovered their design say something like, “Wow, that explains a lot! I’ve always worried about why I do that and have actually felt guilty about it for years. It’s a relief to finally understand where that’s coming from!”

For example, an emotional person who is very sensitive to people’s actions, to the mood of a place, to the fact that others don’t seem to care about people’s feelings, and who reacts strongly to all these feelings, can realize that their troubling sensitivity is a gift they were born with, rather than a curse. They discover it’s really a strength and something they can use to succeed in life if they develop it and use it properly.

When guilt is removed from the equation, there’s room for understanding. Sensitive, emotional people who once thought these qualities were their Achilles’ heel can begin to see them for what they really are. When used properly, these strengths help them succeed at becoming the best ever at people skills. Only a person with such sensitivity to the feelings of others and their surroundings can excel at winning people to the extent they do. And that’s just one example of how guilt can hijack many design-driven “upgrades” in our lives.

There’s Guilt for All Your Perceived Failings.

You focus on all the ways you feel like you’re failing at your goals, failing your kids, your spouse, and others you love. And regrettably, this guilt can lead you to begin not even dreaming of or asking for what you want because you don’t feel like you have the moral right to do that.  What a mess!

There’s Even Guilt for Not Feeling Guilty.

Some people are more familiar with these feelings of guilt than others. They’re horribly confused when they feel relieved from the guilt because they’ve been told they shouldn’t engage in good feelings about themselves.


Upgrade Your Focus & Ditch the Guilt

And so, whether necessary or unnecessary, guilt becomes a motivator. But it’s hardly a motivation with a positive focus. And since we’re designed to go in the direction of our focus, guilt often lands you right where you did not want to go. What’s worse, guilt fits you with a pair of blinders and prevents you from seeing the real opportunities to be your best.

In other words, guilt stands in the way of your choosing the upgrade you desire in your life. Are you ready to upgrade to a more positive focus?

As we discussed previously, to become what you generally desire to be will require some “deep” work and the pursuit of a more personalized path to success. That work includes overcoming obstacles (like unnecessary guilt) and replacing them with accelerators (like inner strengths).


Grab Your Upgrade

  1. Start by discovering your inner design.
  2. Continue by defining success for yourself.
  1. Don’t let unnecessary guilt stand in your way.

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