Want less stress? Get your thinking under control!

Stay in Control of Your Thinking

Are you wanting less stress and more satisfaction from your daily life? It would be nearly impossible to find someone who wouldn’t answer “yes” to that question. But equally impossible is achieving less stress without gaining control of this one thing: your thinking. Without “high-quality” thinking that’s aligned with truth, you can quickly lead yourself down a destructive, dead-end road. So, how about it? Let’s talk about getting your thinking under control.


Your Thoughts Matter

In a previous post, we talked about what it takes to stay in control of yourself. It’s a pretty big deal!  Maybe that’s why there seems to be an endless set of synonyms for the idea of staying “in control.”

  • Staying in the driver’s seat
  • Getting ahold of yourself
  • Getting a grip
  • Calling your own shots
  • Staying in the saddle
  • Wearing the pants
  • Running the show
  • Dancing to your own tune
  • Laying down the law
  • Holding the reins
  • Ruling the roost
  • Playing first fiddle
  • And your favorite [here]


Regardless of your preferred term for it, it’s imperative that your thinking be aligned with truth and optimism if you’re to stay in control of yourself. What’s more, your stress levels rise and fall with the quality of your thinking. As it’s best said in the Bible: “As a man thinks, so is he.” In other words, your thoughts matter! If they’re positive and centered around truth, your beliefs will follow. And since we all act on what we believe, our lives become a sum of the thoughts we accept as truth and insist on entertaining.

Positive, high-quality thinking = More satisfaction from the outcomes of your choices and far less stress.


Your Thinking and Your Inner Design

Everyone, including the “Real You,” has a custom set of inner drives and strengths that must be used correctly so that your custom brand of staying in control is fully operational. Once you’re done with this article, I highly encourage you to click the button below and discover your inner design:

There are so many wonderful tools available to learn more about your inner design. And there are many connections between your inner design, your thinking, and your use of control. Let’s take a look at just three of these connections.

Connection #1:

Your inner design affects how you approach everyday life and how you think your control should be wielded. For example, if you’re driven to a high sense of urgency and strong need for closure, you’ll also prefer to exert your will (control) on circumstances and avoid unplanned outcomes. In the temperament world, we designate this as a “J” lifestyle. On the other hand, if you operate with a much lower sense of urgency and a preference to keep your options open, you’ll likely also prefer to fully experience circumstances, rather than exerting control over them. This is known as a “P” lifestyle preference.

Connection #2:

Inner design also reveals how you’re hardwired to think about good decision-making. “Thinkers” lean toward making decisions based solely on what the facts are indicating. Whereas “feelers” consult their emotions about those same facts. And despite what the facts indicate, they may choose differently. For those with an “F” in their inner design, there can be a difference between what’s the right thing to do and what’s the appropriate thing to do.

In both of the connections mentioned so far, it’s easy to see that understanding your inner design helps you understand the reasons why you think, feel, and act the ways you do. How you approach controlling yourself and the world around you is just one aspect of inner design. The book InnerKinetics” by Dr. Ray Lincoln is a must-have resource to learn more.

Connection #3:

The inner strengths that power your healthy choices and productive thinking are also driven by inner design. Thus, to reduce your stress and gain control of your thinking, you must insist on high-quality thoughts about yourself and others. Let’s explore that further.


Want Less Stress?

You have two options when it comes to your thinking. Thoughts you choose to entertain about yourself and your life can be based on understanding your strengths and the inner powers they represent. Or, your thinking can be based on misunderstanding these strengths and thus, misusing them. Only one of these options gives you good results and represents your thoughts under control.  So, the more you know about your God-given inner design, the more you know how to entertain thoughts aligned with the ways you’re intelligently designed to operate.

For example, if you’re a spontaneous “SP,” here’s a thought worth having:

“Although my spontaneity can be misunderstood by those more cautious than myself, it is the foundation of my creativity and I must use it to my advantage.”

If you’re a responsible “SJ,” here’s a stress-busting thought:

My plans and routines help me keep order and avoid unnecessary chaos. As long as I remain prepared, yet flexible, I’ll handle life’s unplanned events with style.”

As a determined “NT,” your controlled thoughts never stop.

If I’ll consider the very best way to solve problems while also considering the impact on others, my determination and curiosity will result in creative solutions no one else could bring to the situation.”

If you’re a diplomatic “NF,” remember this essential thinking:

My abilities to foster meaningful relationships and help others reach their potential are invaluable. But after I’ve done my very best, I must then leave others to choose it for themselves. That is the picture of true success.”


Can you imagine the world-changing results from just one person who consistently acted on thoughts worth having about themselves? It takes understanding and practice. And you could start it today! Gain a “Real You” mindset and a confidence that you’re on the right track. Our team at InnerKinetics is ready to provide you with personal coaching and a wonderful library of resources. If you’d like some assistance, you can request a consultation.  Schedule an Initial Consultation. If you are more independent and want to cut to the chase, you need not wait for a call back because you can get answers to your questions and schedule your session HERE.


Here’s to your success in 2023!


Intelligently Emotional Book CoverMy hope is that this book will lead you, as its content has led many others, to be intelligently emotional. If it helps you to develop the intelligent use of your emotions and a rewarding lifestyle, my labor will not have been in vain.  You can access it HERE.  If you are subscribed to our weekly updates, our next issue will provide a link to purchase it with a 15% discount and free shipping.




Lean into the whole truth.  Discover the truth of who YOU are — the “Real You” — and who your children truly are.  Discover how to best engage your children in finding the whole truth.  INNERKINETICS, Your Blueprint to Excellence and Happiness, is a great resource.

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