Want maximum impact in your life? Start with a self-centered question.

Ask a self-centered question

Can you imagine the life-changing results when someone consistently acts on thoughts worth having about themselves? What positive impact could that person have on their world over the course of a lifetime? It might surprise you to know that it all starts with a very self-centered question. Be sure you ask this of yourself.


A Self-Centered Question That You Must Ask

My eldest child just graduated from high school this month and it’s got me thinking. Have I really taught her the things she needs to know right now? Is she equipped to go live as an “adult” in a world most-definitely different than the one I experienced after graduating? How will she recognize and focus on the truth about herself WHEN she’s confronted with lies? It’s enough to make this stressed-out momma want to take a week-long nap!  But then I remind myself of the same basic fact that we just covered a few weeks ago in a 2-part post about self-control.

High-quality thinking is aligned with the knowledge of your intelligent inner design. This thinking yields a high-quality lifestyle and maximum satisfaction.

As the term “lifestyle” implies, it’s your thinking about all manner of things that leads to a satisfying life. Your thoughts about others leads to healthy relationships. What you think about food and exercise leads to a healthy body. Your thoughts about challenges throughout your day leads to a healthy grit and determination to overcome.

Most graduates are asked, “What are you going to do next?”. This is a critical time to ask one of the most important questions a high-performing adult needs to ask.

What’s the best thing for ME to do right now?”

We’re Self-Centered by Design

Q: Why in the world would I want my altruistic child with a servant’s heart to go out into the world with a self-centered perspective? Or ask, What’s the best thing for ME to do right now?”

A: Because without the ability to identify what’s in her best interests, she will malfunction!  She’ll be lured into false perspectives and lose her God-given sound mind. She won’t be able to make sense of her choices. She can’t discern what’s within her personal responsibilities versus someone else’s responsibilities.

You see, we’ve been purposefully designed to go in the direction of our own best interests. By very definition, that’s “self-centered” or oriented toward self. But it is NOT a selfish mode.  Many people misunderstand these terms so I will explain using this simple analogy:

I see a man-eating tiger in the wild. It’s in my own best interests to run. Right? I don’t need to analyze whether this tiger is friendly or is getting ready to eat me. I need to remove myself from the danger. I’m designed to act on my own behalf and do the very best thing I can think to do in the situation. That’s a center on self, but it’s not selfish. In fact, rather than running, wouldn’t it actually be selfish to absolve myself of responsibility for my own safety? Crying out for someone to come save me puts others directly in the path of the tiger!

Selfish versus Self-Centered

Selfish people assume it’s not within their set of responsibilities to be part of a solution. Those who are functioning according to their inner design assume personal responsibility and ask, What can I do right now to change this?”

Selfish people often play the victim and think only of how to blame others for circumstances they themselves helped to create. Those who ask “What’s the best thing for me to do?” move through the problematic situation with a positive focus on lessons learned and stronger, more resilient relationships.

What’s more, asking this self-centered question is not just an act of taking personal responsibility for the circumstances of which I’m a part. It’s an exercise of my emotional intelligence to determine exactly what I can do to help resolve a problem or create a solution.

Want maximum impact in your life?

To sum up, if you want to make the maximum impact you can in this world, start with this self-centered question. Or, if you want to help a young adult learn to do the same, ask:

“What’s the best thing for me to do…

  • …in pursuit of a fulfilling career?
  • …in choosing a spouse?
  • …to reconcile with my family member?
  • …to avoid creating the same trouble for myself that my parent created early in life?
  • …to make healthy choices for my body and stay at the peak of physical health?

Learn to guide yourself and others toward this responsibility-taking, victim shedding, impact-making question and watch your inner strengths come to the front in any situation. Your possibilities for making a positive impact are then limitless!

Our team at InnerKinetics is ready to provide you with personal coaching and a wonderful library of resources. If you’d like some assistance, you can request a consultation.  Schedule an Initial Consultation. If you are more independent, you can get answers to your questions and schedule your session HERE.


Intelligently Emotional Book CoverMy hope is that this book will lead you, as its content has led many others, to be intelligently emotional. If it helps you to develop the intelligent use of your emotions and a rewarding lifestyle, my labor will not have been in vain.  You can access it HERE.  If you are subscribed to our weekly updates, our next issue will provide a link to purchase it with a 15% discount and free shipping.





Lean into the whole truth.  Discover the truth of who YOU are — the “Real You” — and who your children truly are.  Discover how to best engage your children in finding the whole truth.  INNERKINETICS, Your Blueprint to Excellence and Happiness, is a great resource.

Our team at InnerKinetics is ready to provide that help, too.  If you’d like some assistance, you can request a consultation.  An InnerKinetics consultant will call you to answer questions and schedule your meeting. Schedule an Initial Consultation. If you are more independent and want to cut to the chase, you need not wait for a call back because you can get answers to your questions and schedule your session HERE.

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