Our tumultuous experiences with the volatility and power of emotion can teach any temperament to fear emotion. Anybody can be unnerved by an emotional surge. A little child must also learn to manage these strange forces inside of him and not fall victim to them. When we fear our emotions, we lessen the chance of positive outcomes. We must struggle with our emotions and each person must find the way to calm them. No one can do it for us or learn it for us. So help your child through the struggle — don’t try to take the struggle away from him. And remember, all of us must learn according to how we have been made.
How We Fear Our Emotions
- NTs fear the loss of concentration that a surge of emotions can cause. So they learn to fear the appearance of emotion at unwanted times.
- The SJ fears all the emotions that may cause them to lose control, causing them to experience the dreaded feelings of insecurity.
- SPs fear sadness and any emotion that robs them of the excitement of the moment. These emotions are the enemy of joy.
- And NFs fear all negative emotions that cause them to explode or implode. Their anger, for example, can be stirred in a split second and at the wrong time, causing them a potential social catastrophe. But another fear looms big for the NF: the loss of self-esteem. How can they feel good about themselves when they can’t seem to manage those crushing emotions?
When We Fear Our Emotions, We Generate More Fear
Fear of our emotions only generates more fear and introduces other negative emotions to deal with. It becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. As we have discussed, emotions mutate quickly and the struggle with our emotions escalates. We are not talking of the fear of fear (although that is also an issue in emotional control) but of the fear of emotion in general, which appears in all temperaments.
All Temperaments Fear Emotions in Some Way
Because all of us experience fear of our emotions in one way or another, NFs need not feel bad. Emotions in themselves are not a negative liability. Rather, they are an almost limitless possibility. Emotions are our friends and the door to things beyond mere logic and the concrete activity of our senses. They readily open the wonders and creativity of imagination to those who are sensitive to feelings. They are not to be feared, but rather, wisely developed.
We Can Unlearn Our Fear of Emotions
Since fearing emotions is a learned mental behavior, we can unlearn it. We accomplish learning and unlearning by mindfulness and conscious actions that, if repeated enough, eventually can become almost automatic. Therefore, all is not lost if we already fear our emotions.
My hope is that this book will lead you, as its content has led many others, to be intelligently emotional. If it helps you to develop the intelligent use of your emotions and a rewarding lifestyle, my labor will not have been in vain. You can access it HERE. If you are subscribed to our weekly updates, our next issue will provide a link to purchase it with a 15% discount and free shipping.
Lean into the whole truth. Discover the truth of who YOU are — the “Real You” — and who your children truly are. Discover how to best engage your children in finding the whole truth. INNERKINETICS, Your Blueprint to Excellence and Happiness, is a great resource.
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