Where are your thoughts leading your marriage?
Love has expectations. Fail to meet them and you can expect disappointment that settles into resentment and then develops into the precursor to divorce: bitterness. Respect is what we need to focus on. Respect for someone else begins in the mind. It is something we can get our thoughts around. Once we start thinking respectful thoughts, they are easy to translate into loving actions, such as doing kind things. Showing we love our spouse is a matter of deeds as well as words. Where are your thoughts leading your marriage?
Thoughts lead to actions.
Remember, thoughts lead to actions. In any relationship, we must examine our thoughts if we want to preserve our love. Show me the person who has bad thoughts about their spouse and I will show you a relationship in which love has gone (or is going) sour.
Fresh thoughts and words of admiration at night when you go to bed and again in the morning when you rise will help resurrect your love.
Mentally list the good points that you once admired in your spouse. Create a new catalog of your spouse’s strengths and praiseworthy actions. You say you can’t think of any? Well, is there no good at all in your spouse? A person who sees no good in another throws doubt on the climate of his (or her) own mind. Think good thoughts. Think respect. And act respectfully. Love will then take care of itself.
If you haven’t already discovered your partner’s design-driven strengths, you can learn all about them in INNERKINETICS, Your Blueprint to Excellence and Happiness.
And here’s a handy little reference tool to remind you of your partner’s strengths:
What thoughts drew you to your spouse?
Consider what drew you to your spouse in the first place. Begin a list of the positive attributes you first admired. Have you shared them with your spouse recently? Ever?
What do you believe would be the result of your doing so? Can anything negative come from sharing what you admired in him/her? Try it! Then share your results. Your story may be all the encouragement someone else needs. And it may help to save another marriage as well as improve your own.